Hello Robin,

You asked, “If my husband dies many years before me, isn't it possible that he will have spiritual progressed by the time I transition?”

Yes, he will continue to grow, and you will continue to grow on this side of life. Forty years later, when you join him, you will have had different lives in the intervening time.

But your love will be the same. That’s what will bring you together then. It’s much like when you leave home after high school and go on to other endeavors. You might move across country or around the world. You have contact occasionally, but not enough for you to grow together daily. You won’t participate in the changes moment to moment. But when you do come together, you’ll share stories about what happened. Your love is the same, and the love is what binds you, not anything on the Earth plane. The 17 year old changes into a 57 year old, but the love that binds makes the changes interesting, not disarming.

Life never stands still. What someone had with a spouse that ended in the spiritual transition off of the Earth plane will never come back. We don’t resume where we left off. But that’s not important. Nothing on the Earth plane is important. What is important is the love and union we have. And that continues, so the reunion is full of sharing stories about what’s happened in the intervening time, and we do learn about how we’ve changed and grown. Children who pass away grow up on the next plane of life and meet their parents as young adults. The love is the same. They’ve just matured and grown. And so they have a wonderful reunion and share stories about what has happened in the intervening time.

You wrote, “In that, I mean that I would have more earth-bound interests once I transition since it is new to me, and he will have already had many years to experience that and may have moved on. And if so, why would I expect him to have an interest in "hanging" out with me?”

One of the things that comes through prominently from the other side is that possessing someone else isn’t important, but serving others is vital. And so, when people pass into spirit, they are interested in helping their loved ones grow and have happiness while they remain on the Earth plane. They will stay with them to help make that happen. And so someone who has crossed into spirit before a spouse will be more interested in helping their spouse grow and mature than in having exciting conversation or sharing new hobbies. We think of people on the Earth plane as being compatible because they share interests. But all of that drops away. Someone who has matured spiritually on the next plane will be more interested in helping his or her spouse adjust to the new surroundings and grow in spiritual maturity. They won’t need to be entertained or have stimulating conversations about events.

And if someone is on the next plane of life for 40 or 50 years, that isn’t enough time for great changes. The changes we see in people between ages 20 and 70 are the same in extent as the changes we would see in someone who had lived on the other side for 50 years. They’ll still be the same person, just wiser and more knowledgeable from what they’ve learned. So after the spouses spend a few years together on the other side, the spouse who just came over will have matured.

You wrote, “I understand that no one imposes their will in the afterlife, so there would be no exception for pressure for me, but at the same time it's hard to imagine that my husband is going to have an interest in pursuing the earthly pleasures that will probably be important to me initially.”

That is a difference that will be prominent. On the Earth plane, we have MY hobbies and MY house and MY pleasures and MY spouse. That insistence on clinging to what I call me or mine is a real downfall for us. People do relax by growing spiritually so that MY isn’t so important. YOUR becomes much more important. So if my spouse dies and 40 years later, I die, and at that time, I have MY interest in playing bingo, my spouse who has matured away from the Earth plane for 50 years will want to share in YOUR interest in bingo. Doing what is MY desire isn’t important; sharing YOUR desire is paramount. Then after a short time, the newly transitioned spouse will grow out of the MY mentality and both will be comfortable with what each wants.

Love and peace, Craig